my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
