dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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