did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize