Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
