I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
