The best revenge is premature balding
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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