Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
