Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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