I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
