Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
