Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
