We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
