My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
