Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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