maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I would fuck him just for his dog
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
