His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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