it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
