Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
