I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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