I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
