why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize