I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize