Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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