i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize