OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
