Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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