Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
