No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
