I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
