seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
