I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I could fuck to npr.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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