i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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