Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
