I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize