what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
