since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
