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Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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