a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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