i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
