wat bout pragnant strippers??
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
