Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
