i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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