Kiss
Puke
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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