I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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