And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
