You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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