'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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