I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
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