I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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