ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
