I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
