Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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