Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
