...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
