The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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