he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
