I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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