$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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