She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
