just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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