dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
