I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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