I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
